Have I Been Thinking Too Much Again?

After a very long wait we finally got the Dr. Seuss book about the Sneetches from Paperback Swap. Obviously it’s been a long time since I’d read it, but it had always been a fave. Imagine my horror to discover that the book that I always thought of as an example of the stupidity of racism, is also an example of the stupidity of the marginalized as well. Instead of forming their own clubs and playing their own games they stand around all sad-faced and pathetic while the star-bellied Sneetches are out having fun and excluding them. As I am a champion of “never let the mofos see you sweat”  this book is truly a wall-banger.

I feel the same way about Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. All these people abuse and scorn him until they find his “affliction” useful to them. I’m sorry, but first had I been Rudolph’s mama I would’ve body-slammed his father for being ashamed of him. (What’s with this whole Daddy being ashamed of their child for being different meme? It’s in Happy Feet as well, and otherwise stellar movie.) Having been bullied for much of my childhood if the same were to happen to my child I want him to hold his head up high, and when they come running to him to use his red nose I want him to have enough pride to tell them to suck it. Is that wrong?

I don’t like the Giving Tree because that damned tree gave the boy everything totally without any reciprocity. A horrific message for children and don’t even get me started on the Roald Dahl book Esio Trot. He totally scammed Mrs. Silver and he never gets any type penalty for it. Damn, and I thought the fairy tales were effed up. Children’s lit is really starting to get a side-eye from me.

Off With Her Head

I just discovered that my almost-six-year-old can’t tie his shoes because the girls in his class tie them for him. Imma need them to stop that–unless they want to still be tying his shoes on prom night.

And btw, I think The Luke is having yet another growth spurt. Y’all know he eats so much we call him “Groceries,” now all of a sudden he eats TWICE as much! I’m starting to wonder if folk don’t pimp their kids out as child stars just so they can feed them!

Life without sugar is going well. Managed to bake Easter cupcakes without eating them. Of course, they’re not my fave lemon-coconut that I usually bake for this holiday. My menfolk wanted chocolate. Of course chocolate Swiss buttercream is like my favorite thing in all of Western civilization, but I’m tired of feeling like crap so I had to pass on them.

I’m back to wanting to sleep all the time, though. I’ll be sitting here writing and find myself dozing off. And I’m not staying up late either, I’m not sure what my problem is. This is not good, though. I’ve been an insomniac forever, it’d be too funny to suddenly turn into a narcoleptic. Funny, but typical.

I’m not feeling Flashforward these days. First they let Zoe be a typical ball-breaking black bitch last week. Now they’re setting Dmitry up to impregnate Hawk. If that happens I’m so done with that show. Also, and this is an aside, but why didn’t they get Somali actors to play Somalians in that episode? Anyone with even a passing acquaintance with the Continent would immediately recognize that people from different countries look different. Strange.

As for Mesdames Scott and Badu at least one of whom literally showed her ass in Dallas, I say *meh*. I knew these songstresses were going to eventually wind up naked when Beyonce and Rihanna stopped wearing pants. Badu actually has talent, so I don’t know why she felt the need to do this. Rihanna, well her legs are pretty much all she has. Beyonce can sing, but needs to stop being too greedy to hire actual writers.

As for Jill Scott, her views were not news to me, I was actually at a concert where she spouted this foolywang once before. This was the response I gave over at What Tami Said.

I’m not telling black women to be quiet and strong, I’m telling black women to be STRATEGIC. Have we stopped to think about what all this counter-programming is about? We’ve been ignored by the media since we’ve been here, now all of a sudden they can’t stop talking about us. Do we honestly believe that they suddenly give a damn? Of course not. They’re counter-programming against Michelle Obama and what it means that suddenly we have a black First Lady. That undermines white supremacy and they’re in a frenzy to counteract that message and the impact that it can have. God forbid a black woman actually think she’s fit to be First Lady.

So what do we do? Instead of putting our best foot forward and show ourselves in our magnificence we play right into the media message. That will undermine the marginalization of black women. This woe is me message does nothing to do that. And that’s their intent.

Scott wrote her article for Essence magazine which is nothing more than another arm of that same media that seeks to destroy and undermine black women. How could it be otherwise in a magazine that encourages black women to go to strip clubs to seek mates? Essence magazine is neither owned by or helmed by a black woman, so in what way is it OUR magazine? It’s not. They knew exactly how black women would respond to putting that man on the cover, that’s why they did it. And black women played like along with the bullshit. Better to simply ignore such foolishness and focus on that which uplifts us.

By all means have the dialogue, talk about it with people who actually give a damn about you. The media (and that includes so-called black magazines) in this country serves one purpose: to maintain the status quo and that’s white supremacy. It is not your therapist, stop acting as though it is.

Pairs Skating Doldrums

Main Image

So last night I missed the last two competitors in the pairs skating finals at the Olympics. So what? you might be thinking. Except that I haven’t missed a pairs skating final since the second Innsbruck. Yes, that was 1976 and I was twelve years old. I love pairs like damn and whoa. The jumps, the choreography and most especially the lifts. Which is probably why my favorites of all time are the Canadians Brasseur and Eisler.

I was bored. Yes, bored and uninterested. And no, not because there wasn’t an American pair in contention. Just for the record, for the most part there’s never been an American pair in contention. It’s the new scoring system. It sucks and blows. At the same time. After the epic fail that was Salt Lake City they instituted a new scoring system. This has resulted in a dull, desultory sport with little excitement or individuality. I got more excited about the biathlon than I did the pairs final.

Apparently James and Bonheur (pictured above) were the most exciting couple of the night, and NBC didn’t show them. I understand, they did finish 14th and they’re French, so that’s not surprising, but I would’ve liked to have seen something interesting.

Interestingly enough this SI writer is expressing the same sentiments. Little wonder that the ratings for skating are down. The World Championship should be one big yawn.

Chris Martin

I love this picture of Chris Martin. In it, he looks just as Whit did when we first met. I’ve got a very similar photo of Whit, but it didn’t scan well. I’m still puzzled by the marital choices some of these people make. Marrying Gwyneth Paltrow definitely lowered him in my estimation. I thought there was more depth to him than that, or maybe there’s more to her than initially meets the eye. I seriously love Coldplay, but not nearly as much as I did before he married her.

I remember being extremely disappointed when Dave Navarro married Carmen Electra. It became readily apparent that he was not at all the man I thought him to be. I knew Creed would crash and burn when I watched their Behind the Music. Did you see that southern belle Scott Stapp hitched himself to? I was never a Creed fan, but I knew then that he was a poseur to the first water.

Other people have gotten more interesting based on who they’ve hooked up with. I always thought Brad Pitt was vastly overrated. He just didn’t do anything for me, and I didn’t think much of his acting ability, though he did manage to upstage Tom Cruise in Interview With the Vampire. (Not that upstaging that headcase is particularly difficult.) Then I saw Mr. & Mrs. Smith and dude suddenly had a lot a more ooomph! I like him comedic, over-the-top roles. If you haven’t seen Inglourious Basterds, you’ve seriously missed out.

I think that happens in real life too. You think you know someone and then you meet their significant other and it’s like they’re living a double life. It makes you wonder which of their personas is real. It’s very odd.

Off With Her Head

I’m really not feeling this new hairstylist on What Not to Wear. Nick did absolutely amazing things with curly hair. (All his straight hairstyles were lame, though.) Ted doesn’t have the curly hair touch that Nick does. Oh well.

No, I’m not in a fit of despondency over the election in Massachusetts. As far as I’m concerned, health care reform was deader than hell the moment the Public Option went tits up. Oh well, America you get what you deserve.

I’m really liking these Seven7 jeans I got at TJ Maxx. I swear they ought to call them the official jeans for shortwaisted women. It’s so nice to wear jeans that cover my ass and don’t cut me in the waist. I bought all they had in my size, but that was only three pair. And one of them had a bedazzled bottom. I’m not really feeling that, but figure I’ll just be sure to wear them with a jacket or shirt that covers it. Who wants rhymestones™ ( Monica Mingo) on their ass?

I’m writing again, but still in a bit of a funk. I’ve been buying a lot of books lately, and I must say I’ve been sorely disappointed. I’ve read, or attempted to read, three wallbangers in a row. One of them I had eagerly anticipated, and it’s so bad I really do want to call the author and cuss her out. The other is by someone I usually love, but at least I know she’s sometimey as hell. When she’s good she rocks like fiyah, but when she’s bad she makes you want to gouge your eyes out with a grapefruit spoon. Unfortunately, there’s no way to know in advance which one you’ve got. It’s like a box of chocolates…FROM HELL!!  And this one I’m trying to read now, damn. It is so dry, and so boring I’ve been shaking my head now for thirty minutes. There is an art to building sexual tension between two characters, and this writer clearly missed that class. I think I’ll put these aside and get back to my own books.

So yesterday I was trying to print some flash cards to help Luke with his spelling test. Yes, he is in kindergarten. No, I don’t know why they have spelling tests in kindergarten, I’m just trying to be the shepherd here. Anyway, my printer wouldn’t work. I fuxed with that thing all morning, no dice. Whit comes home and connects one cable and Bingo! the damned thing runs like a Singer. I pointed out that stuff like that really makes me hate him. He said, “I get that reaction a lot.” See my point? I think we’re easing into the bitterness and loathing part of our marriage. I’ve been looking forward to that for a long time.

Adam Rodriguez

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He’s not here for any particular reason. Several folks over at WAOD were talking about how hot he is and I had to check him out. Hot doesn’t even come close. Dude is hot like Damn and Whoa. I definitely feel a papi chulo story coming on.

My only complaint? No nekkid pictures. Dude needs to take a page out of the Jonathan Rhys Myers/Viggo Mortensen playbook and get nekkid for the cameras. Hot guys should always have nekkid pictures available. Do you hear that Troy Polamalu? Why is it that I can find an internet full of pictures of old shits like Steve Harvey, but none of this little bit of lusciousness? Life just isn’t fair.

Dear George Lucas,

LEGO Star Wars Anakin's Y-Wing Starfighter (8037)

I realize that you will not be happy until you have all the money in the world. Hey, I can get behind that. It’s good to have goals, and goodness knows if I ever have a hit I’m going to milk that sucker for all its worth. Yes, I’ll be the first romance author in history with backpacks and action figures! I also realize that Melody Hobson is a wealthy high-maintenance woman in her own right. For an ego-maniac like you it must make for a difficult relationship. But dude, $50 freaking bucks for a Star Wars model?! My brothers had those back when we were kids, they cost $3 and you had the bonus of being able to sniff the glue!

And Lego, I’m not letting you money-grubbing scumbags off the hook either. Legos are supposed to spark a child’s creativity. Where’s the creativity behind something that only makes one thing, and an outrageously priced thing at thing at that? And then y’all pimp this crap on all the kiddie channels like Jehovah’s Witnesses. Double epic fail dudes.