Is That Prone or Supine?

This will be my last day of face-down posturing after my surgery on Wednesday. I have to stay face-down for 45 minutes of every hour. (Yes, that includes sleeping). That’s so that the gas bubble in my eye will remain pressed against the surgery site.

With time, possibly a few weeks, the gas will gradually dissipate and my body will make more vitreous fluid to fill the cavity.

Did I tell y’all vitreous fluid looks like egg whites? Yeah, I woke up toward the end of the surgery and could see the fluid and the instruments in my eye! And yes I asked my doctor what would happen if my body didn’t make more fluid. He looked at me like I’m an idiot, rolled his eyes and said that’s never happened, but if it did he’d write a journal article about it and I’d be famous. My doctor is a bit snarky, yeah?

Right now I can’t see anything out of my right eye. And I’m getting damned tired of it. I’ve essentially been blind in that eye since November but yeah, this is worse because at least I had a little peripheral vision to keep from walking into stuff. Now I’ve got nothing.

It’s interesting though because I can watch the bubble gradually dissipate. It’s like looking through a glass of water that’s draining bit by bit. It’s aggravating and fascinating at the same time. The bubble moves though and is ridiculously distracting.

Anyway I’ll keep you posted. No more pictures because there’s really not much to see. My eye is swollen and a bit droopy. Definitely red, but hardly sympathy-inducing. Mainly I’ve been sleeping a lot. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was but straining to see is wearying. And I don’t sleep well because of the face down thing. Hopefully tomorrow night will be bliss!

Horrifying ‘Zombie’ Eye!

Not nearly as bad as I anticipated. Probably the worst part of the surgery was the nerve block to the eye and waking up with a drape over my face. Me no likey having my face covered. It’s tender but I’m not in pain. I thought the gas bubble would be opaque but it’s clear like looking through a bubble of water.

We’ve spent most of the day adjusting my chair and such so I can keep my facedown position comfortably. Yeah, no. Not possible. Fortunately I’ll be done by Sunday.

Super Bowl Eats

We always try to pick Super Bowl food based on the city where the game is played. Sometimes we base it on the team cities. (The crab cakes from when my beloved Ravens won are the stuff of legends.) Both Kansas City and San Francisco are both great food cities. For once Whit wasn’t feeling ribs (That’s never happened before) and to me San Francisco will always be about Asian cuisine. Which we eat at least once per week, so we went with game city this time.

Miami is one of my favorite food cities. Unfortunately I haven’t been there since the more recent influx of Brazilian immigrants. I would imagine the food is even more amazing. So we’re going with a full Cuban menu.

Cubanos (Natch. This is Whit’s fave sandwich. Which is saying something because the man LOVES sandwiches.) I wanted to do a Cuban-style ham, but got outvoted.

Moros y cristianos (Black beans and rice). Which I could eat every day of my life. Cubanelle peppers are just so YUM! Very fortunate to have Buford Highway Farmers Market nearby. If it grows and can be eaten, you will find it there.

Debating whether to fry my own churros or just pick some up on Buford Highway. I fear that if I ever start making my own I’ll eat little else. I’ve also got an amazing guava/coconut flan recipe I want to try, but my kids are not fans of coconut. (I have NO IDEA how that happened.) Might just do a plain flan instead.

And, of course, mojitos by the pitcher full. We’re not really rum fans for the most part—he loves Scotch and I’m all about bourbon—but mojitos are delish, especially with Cubanos, so there you go.

And, of course lots of coffee and at least one cigar. It’s Miami after all and since none of our teams made the cut, we can just suck back and enjoy the festivities.

The Funhouse Mirror

Someone asked what does my vision look like with the macular hole. This image is the best representation I can find. I keep that eye shut or covered when I’m working because it’s mad distracting. And given that my job involves almost constant spreadsheets it takes me twice as long to do tasks. I’m having frequent headaches and am exhausted but can’t sleep. I just want it to be over. Even though the recovery can last months and there’s no guarantee my sight will ever return I just want it over.

Doctors use this grid to determine how bad it is. Mine is about like this. Sometimes I have a black hole in the center of the distorted area. Sometimes I do not. I see a bullseye, much like the Target logo, but with ragged edges almost constantly.

I’ve been getting pointers on how to navigate with one eye. I have always had limited depth perception but now I have none. I’ve cut myself three times, the last time pretty severely. I’ve been cooking forever and it’s difficult to alter that process. But I have to because no one wants my blood in their burrito.

Victrectomy Recovery Supplies

I’ve got a little over a week left before my surgery. Time to order the supplies to help me get through this. Nope I won’t be ordering that chair. I’m clumsy as hell y’all. You know that in my hands that chair is just an accident waiting to happen.

That headrest gizmo looks like it would work for sleeping.

Plus it sits up for car rides or reading.

My question is how is it that this surgery is commonplace enough that there’s a whole industry to support it, yet no one has ever heard of it? Hmmm…

Thankfully they deliver this stuff to your home. I’ll probably get a boppy or a similar pillow. I’m claustrophobic so I’m concerned about having a freak out but I guess I will deal.

I’m thinking about getting another iPad. Mine is almost a decade old. It might be good for movies. I’ve got lots of books but reading with one eye is surprisingly tiring. We’ll see.

TBR List

In anticipation of my convalescence from surgery I’ve been stockpiling books. I’ve got my usual e-books, but I also have a list of audiobooks on Libby in case reading is just impossible. Normally I’m not a huge fan of audiobooks, which is strange because I LOVE podcasts. Not sure what that’s about. Speaking of podcasts one of my faves is Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History. He drops a new episode every other full moon after the summer solstice but only 40 days after the first full moon of the lunar new year. I’ve forgiven him for his idiosyncratic schedule because he has a new book. It’s at the top of my TBR pile. Along with Black Jacobins on the Haitian Civil War (Mike Duncan has an AMAZING podcast on this, he recommended the book) and another on the Spanish Civil War. I only recently realized I know fuck-all about the Spanish Civil War. This seemed like a great time to rectify that.

I made some interesting discoveries this week. 1. I cannot read on the train. Got car sick as all hell. That’s a bummer. 2. I drove in to work for a meeting and no one died. I didn’t hit anything not even the dog I thought was a coyote.

Anyway these days I mostly read non-fiction especially history. Any suggestions for my TBR pile?


I call this quilt my masterpiece. If you look closely you’ll see all the hand quilting. It’s queen sized and I made it mainly to go crazy with quilting. The actual quilting is my favorite part about the process. I can work on a machine but hand work is more relaxing.

Sadly, I don’t think I’ll be able to hand quilt on this level again. I’ve been a quilter since I was 9 years old. It’s one of the few things I do solely for myself. No one tells me when to start stop or how much to spend. It’s mine for me. I was so proud to have quilted this quilt with a #10 quilting needle. They’re less than an inch long and and finer than silk pins.

Interestingly I was making a baby quilt four years ago when I first started having eye problems. So much so I couldn’t finish the quilt. Don’t know why I didn’t immediately go to the eye doctor. It wasn’t until I couldn’t see to drive that I finally went.

Funny thing is I always thought it would be arthritis in my hands that would end quilting for me. Despite being near-sighted as hell it never occurred to me that yes, things could get worse.

I’ve been looking at this really sweet Brother quilting machine. It’s kind of spendy (what’s new, eh?) but if it can get me my groove back I’m definitely going to get it.

I’m mad depressed right now and dying to quilt. I can’t wait until this whole surgery thing is over. It’s good to have something to look forward to.