Eye Can See Clearly Now…

Eye wish. I know y’all are all dying for an update. Until this morning there was nothing to say. What with the pandemic and all I’ve been teleworking and home-schooling. Cataract surgery? Who knows?

This morning I woke up in excruciating pain in my eye. I couldn’t open it and when I did the light made the pain worse. How bad was the pain? I briefly considered a trip to the ER. At 5:00 a.m. In a pandemic.

My eye was red and swollen and hurt like crazy. It didn’t even hurt like that after the bleeping surgery! Wish I’d taken a picture. I finally had scary zombie eye and was too freaked out to take a picture.

Thankfully my doctor was on call and I was able to see him this morning. Apparently it’s something called ‘rebound inflammation’. What’s rebound inflammation? So glad you asked!

After my surgery I was put on anti-inflammatory drops and steroid drops for swelling. I finished them up earlier this week. Going off the steroids can sometimes trigger the rebound inflammation. The doctor just prescribed more drops and it’s all good.

The Eyes Have It…

This will be brief because I have been at the doctor all morning, my eyes are dilated and I have a headache. I can’t have cataract surgery until June at the earliest. The doctor wants me to wait at least three months past the macular hole surgery to have cataract surgery.

He said that if I’m tired of wandering around blind (I am!) I could get another pair of glasses but my prescription is changing rapidly. Given that this pair cost $700(!) that’s highly unlikely. He keeps telling me I’ll be thrilled when this is over. No more near-sightedness, but right now I’m just frustrated and tired.

Seeing Eye to Eye

I saw my Retinal Specialist last week and there’s good news and really horrible news. The good news is, the hole has indeed closed, and the gas bubble is gone. Bye Bye Bubble Boy. Bad new? I have a cataract forming in that eye. Yeah, I know, I need to find myself a religion to follow quickly because clearly I’m not living right.

Cataracts are a known and likely side effect of the vitrectomy surgery. Though typically they don’t form until 6 months to a year and up to two years after the surgery. So I was prepared to have it develop, but you know me, gots to get in firstest with the mostest!

No matter what you do, don’t look up cataract surgery on YouTube. Don’t ask me why, but the visual of having part of your eye ball sliced off with a scalpel is almost as horrific as the visual of having tubes stuck in your eyeball.

Anyway, so the cataract has not developed enough yet for me to have surgery, plus, my eye isn’t healed enough either. So I go back in a few weeks to see where we are. Then I’ll be referred to the cataract specialist. Giving how long I had to wait for the retina surgery we’re probably talking well into spring before I have surgery.

Apparently I will need surgery on both eyes, so my lenses match. I’m trying not to think about that, but given I can barely see, and dreading makes me dizzy, thinking is about all I can do. I go back to work next week. Still working from home, so grateful that I’ve been able to work that out. Driving is not a thing that’ll be happening anytime soon. Tried just moving the car for the roofers last week and dear heavens, it was bad!

As far as my vision goes, yeah, my right eye is mostly ornamental at this point. I still have the funhouse mirror effect, along with blurred and cloudy vision. Yes, Dear Reader, my eye sight is actually worse than it was when we started on this long strange trip!

And I realized I owe y’all an apology. I promised Raspberry Sorbet would be out before the surgery, but no. My vision deteriorated so quickly I couldn’t finish the book and I didn’t want to put out an inferior product. I’m sorry, if I have any fans left, I sincerely apologize. I have NO IDEA when, or even if I’ll ever write again. I have so many books planned for y’all and all this is driving me crazy.

As the Eye Turns

Visually my eye is more or less back to normal. It’s not red anymore. I still put drops in three times a day. I thought I’d share a visual of my charming Medic Alert bracelet because apparently if mishandled my eye could explode. Highly unlikely but I do like the drama of saying that.

The latest in chic jewelry…

The gas bubble is about 2/3rds of the way down. It’s like a half-moon at the bottom of my line of sight. As it has shrunk the glare off it has steadily worsened though the vertigo it caused is better.

It’s clear now that the visual distortion is still there. So now it’s like looking through a funhouse mirror only now with added glare! It will take months for the damage to my retina to right itself and I will probably not get my vision back totally.

You know me I’ve read everything I can about this issue, so I knew going into this that the surgery was more an issue of stopping further damage than correcting the damage already done, but it’s still hard to deal with suddenly having a disability and to your eyesight no less.

I’m really struggling with this. Not being able to drive makes me feel like I’m under house arrest. And don’t even get me started on possible job loss. It’s devastating.

We Gets No Cover Love

I just want to know why the foreign versions of books always look so much better than the American versions.

So I bought The Five, an amazing social history of the five canonical victims of Jack the Ripper. Amazing book y’all, seriously I told y’all all about it in a previous blog post I’m too lazy to link here but yeah, you need this book.

I bought the ebook as I do most books these days so I could enlarge the type. Then I started following Hallie Rubenhold (the author) on Twitter and now I’m hella mad. The UK version has a MUCH better cover, and they’ve got TOTEBAGS with the women’s names.

The hell you say? So not only do we get an ugly cover that doesn’t have their names inscribed like the Brit version, we don’t even get totebags. Y’all know I’ve got totebag issues, right?

So I tootled over to amazon.co.uk and much to my amazement I discovered I can order the Brit version, but still no totebag. Thinking about low key stalking Rubenhold until she sends me one (or blocks me on Twitter).

Is That Prone or Supine?

This will be my last day of face-down posturing after my surgery on Wednesday. I have to stay face-down for 45 minutes of every hour. (Yes, that includes sleeping). That’s so that the gas bubble in my eye will remain pressed against the surgery site.

With time, possibly a few weeks, the gas will gradually dissipate and my body will make more vitreous fluid to fill the cavity.

Did I tell y’all vitreous fluid looks like egg whites? Yeah, I woke up toward the end of the surgery and could see the fluid and the instruments in my eye! And yes I asked my doctor what would happen if my body didn’t make more fluid. He looked at me like I’m an idiot, rolled his eyes and said that’s never happened, but if it did he’d write a journal article about it and I’d be famous. My doctor is a bit snarky, yeah?

Right now I can’t see anything out of my right eye. And I’m getting damned tired of it. I’ve essentially been blind in that eye since November but yeah, this is worse because at least I had a little peripheral vision to keep from walking into stuff. Now I’ve got nothing.

It’s interesting though because I can watch the bubble gradually dissipate. It’s like looking through a glass of water that’s draining bit by bit. It’s aggravating and fascinating at the same time. The bubble moves though and is ridiculously distracting.

Anyway I’ll keep you posted. No more pictures because there’s really not much to see. My eye is swollen and a bit droopy. Definitely red, but hardly sympathy-inducing. Mainly I’ve been sleeping a lot. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was but straining to see is wearying. And I don’t sleep well because of the face down thing. Hopefully tomorrow night will be bliss!

Horrifying ‘Zombie’ Eye!

Not nearly as bad as I anticipated. Probably the worst part of the surgery was the nerve block to the eye and waking up with a drape over my face. Me no likey having my face covered. It’s tender but I’m not in pain. I thought the gas bubble would be opaque but it’s clear like looking through a bubble of water.

We’ve spent most of the day adjusting my chair and such so I can keep my facedown position comfortably. Yeah, no. Not possible. Fortunately I’ll be done by Sunday.