I really, really don’t know how to tell you this, but I have to quit you. Yes. Yes. I know our relationship goes way back. Lord knows nobody loves the ocean and copious amounts of shrimp followed by beer and oysters on the half shell more than me, but I have to go. And dude, it’s not me, it’s you. See, it’s this bit of fucknuttery your legislature passed called Stand Your Ground. Yeah, I know. I know. You’re still part of the Confederacy and from time to time you have to assert your independence like a tired toddler by trying to out-crazy the rest of your brethren. But your state is far more dependent on tourism than the others, and I can’t imagine anybody crazy enough to return to a state where it’s legal to shoot an unarmed child and claim self defense.
See I have a son, and he’s brown. He has a grandmother who adores him and she happens to live in Florida, in a gated community. They both look forward to his annual visit. Foolish me, over the years my main concern has been detoxing him from all the sugar upon his return. Oh but for a return to those halycyon days. When he visits my mother-in-law spends roughly the equivalent of the gross national product of a small country on him. I’d guess that the Pop Tart bill alone would be enough to sustain even the largest county. Factor in laser tag, go carts, parasailing and who the hell knows what other foolywang those two get up to, and trust, it’s a considerable sum of revenue. Now multiply that by thousands of grandmothers, and well, like I said, you have a problem. And I don’t have to tell you how ugly it’s going to get down there when you have thousands of angry grandmothers on your six. Your state was hit hard by the economic crisis, I fear it’s about to be hit harder, and that’s a shame.
Yeah I know your legislature got in bed with the NRA and ALEC. All that PAC money can be alluring, but only the most negligent parent is going to stand idly by while you allow their children to be slaughtered in the street. Adult male stalking young boy, makes me wonder if NAMBLA didn’t sponsor this legislation as well. And that’s the other point, pretty much every parent tells their children to run from men following them. If caught, fight like hell and scream. But, if they get the best of their attacker, under this law he can kill them and the law has no recourse. Clearly there was not a lot of frontal lobe activity going on in the legislature during that session.
It’s time to grow a pair, (ovaries, not testes) and own up to your stupidity. Repeal this law before there’s even more blood shed. Meanwhile, I can think of at least one grandmother who’s going to be all over your ass. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
