Not too long ago a reader asked me what she should be looking for in a mate. I pondered this one for a minute. It would seem that a lot of people are puzzled, and while I can understand that, its hard for me to tell someone what they should be looking for in a man. This, above everything is a highly personal issue. However, since I’ve been asked, I’ll tell you what I was looking for when I met my husband.
I’ve been accused and plead guilty to using old-fashioned words like honor, cherish, and chivalry. Its a deliberate choice. They’re very evocative words, and I use them for that purpose. More than anything I wanted an honorable man. What do I mean by honorable? In my mama’s words, ‘If he’s meant for you there won’t be no mess behind him.’ Profound in its simplicity. An honorable man won’t have a bunch of drama, whether romantic or financial around him. He takes care of his business in an honest, forthright manner. So if the bill collectors, baby mamas, etc… are hanging over him, you know he’s not the one.
Now, here’s the kicker, in order to have an honorable man, you have to be an honorable woman. Remember, he’s not going to have any drama in his life. That includes yours. Honorable men are honest, to a fault. They do what they say they’re going to do, period. If he tells you he’ll call you at 7:00, he does exactly that. You don’t have to worry about follow-through. If the hubster isn’t where he’s supposed to be I know to start checking hospitals and morgues. He’ll be there, on time, or die trying.
That’s the kind of man I wanted. I sat down and made a list, a very specific list of the characteristics I needed in a husband. Too women make the mistake of saying, ‘I need a man.’ That’s way too general. We have to be specific about our needs. After all, Mike Tyson and R. Kelly are men. You need a certain type of man, and you need to look inside yourself to decide what that is.
Being with an honorable man is not easy. My husband can be persuaded, but he doesn’t push worth a damn. If you ask him a question you’d best be prepared for the direct truth. Yes, he will tell you that your ass looks big in those pants! Are you ready for that type of man? Then by all means let the universe know! Happy Hunting.