Do You Get Excited?

All this talk about Beharie and Fassbender leads me to another question. As I noted, the interracial-sphere was all a-twitter over the news that they’re dating. Which begs the question, why? Maybe I’m just a cantankerous old coot, and I know I’m seriously jaded when it comes to celebrities, but I don’t care one way or another who is sthupping whom. Do you think it’s the validation issue? One blogger mentioned “normalization of IRs” and that sent my blood pressure into the stratosphere. My marriage IS normal. There’s nothing special or unique about it and it doesn’t need “normalization.”

I think sometimes that the interracial-sphere serves to do the exact opposite of it’s stated goals, which is presumably to encourage black women to mate/date out. It seems to me that all this obsessive navel gazing has actually led to the otherization of interracial relationships. We’ve developed a separate lingo, most of which annoy the pig crap out of me: swirling, rainbows, playing in the snow. I resent this effort to make my marriage sound like some novelty you find in a head shop. And this veritable alphabet soup of acronyms is frankly, just stupid. DBRPABINXSBBQ! I guess because I’m a professional wordsmith/communicator I take issue with anything that makes language more obscure. This constant litany and rhapsodizing every time a famous white male looks at a black woman looks both desperate and pathetic. Seriously? Are we that thirsty? Do we really need untold numbers of bloggers reporting on the bedroom activities of countless celebrities like NORAD tracking missiles? Am I the only one who finds this more than a bit disturbing?

Essentially we’ve taken what is after all a pretty basic activity; a man and a woman getting together and turned it into an industry. And that’s pretty scary. I’ve been saying this for a while now, but apparently no one is listening. Spend less time reading blogs and more time socializing. Get some figure flattering clothes, put on some red lipstick and go get yourself a man, or two or three if you’re inclined. Men are not that complicated, if you look good, smell good and are even remotely friendly they’re going to approach you. Their egos are much too large to do otherwise. If you want some dick you’re going to have to go get it, and trust me, you’re not going to get laid reading a bunch of blogs written by people whose motives, and even sanity are questionable.

Well Since Everyone Else is Talking About Them…

So unless you’ve been under a rock for the past few weeks you know that Michael Fassbender (Hot British officer in Inglorious Basterds. Yeah, THAT guy!) is apparently dating a black actress, Nichole Beharie. If you follow the interracial-sphere at all you know that Mr. Fassbender previously dated Zoe Saldana, and is the lovely gentleman who went out of his way to compliment Viola Davis on the red carpet. But what really has the interracialites all a-twitter is that he has actually stated a preference for women of a darker hue.

Now we come to my question, how do you feel about white guys who are into black women? Have you ever come across one in a romance, and how did it make you feel? From what I gather, a lot of black women like it. Or maybe they like the validation from celebrities. Certainly I can understand that, validation can feel really good. Note the near worship of DeNiro in the interracial-sphere, but what about in real life? I admit, I’m somewhat biased on this issue because every white guy I’ve ever met who was “down with the sisters” was also irredeemably hoish. And y’all know how I feel about that! It was like they had some weird compulsion. If she was black and said yes, or even maybe, he was going to hit that. Almost as though they were hoarding black booty! (Now there’s a reality show for you!) Do you have a similar experience? I’d love to know that they aren’t all like that. After a while it gave me a really freaky feeling. I got to where I avoided them altogether. It’s like the fetish thing, you know? I know some interracial bloggers say black women need to get over the fear of being fetishized, but I have to assume they’ve never experienced it. That shit is creepy, I don’t care who you are. I wanted a man who saw me as a whole person, not as my skin color. Not saying that is the case with Mssieurs DeNiro or Fassbender, but it can give one pause.

Oddly enough though, despite the way these guys are celebrated, I don’t recall ever seeing a hero in an IR romance with a stated preference. Do you think authors fear they’ll be accused of fetishizing? How do you feel about the fetish issue? Overblown, or a real concern?