Free Lesson: Escaping an Abusive Boyfriend

Screen Shot 2016-08-16 at 10.24.49 AM.pngReddit is probably one of the most disturbing sites on the internet, but even a blind hog finds an acorn every now and then. If you’re in an abusive relationship, or ever find yourself in one, you might just want to save this post. Girlfriend did everything right to protective herself from this asshole and I hope more women are able to do the same.

#domesticviolence #protectingyourself

I Cried With the Cashier in Walmart Today

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I’ve mentioned before how enamored I’ve grown with the house dresses my mama used to call dusters. She loved those things like damn and whoa and after she died we found dozens of them in her room. She loved nothing better than to receive them as gifts for any and all occasions. Now I know why she liked them so much; they’re cool, lightweight and most importantly, THEY HAVE POCKETS! Big, roomy pockets. Let me tell you, when you’re doing your last once over, picking up kid’s stuff before bed, big pockets are a lifesaver.

Anyway, I picked up a couple today, and mentioned to the cashier how much my mama loved them. She got teary eyed and said every time someone buys one she thinks about her mama too. We talked for several minutes until both of us got too choked up to continue. It’s been a while since this happened. The Christmas after she died I collapsed on the floor sobbing in Kmart, blubbering over their Christmas display. My mama loved Christmas; decorating with so many lights our house could be mistaken for an alternate airport runway.

It’s been fourteen years y’all and it seems like just yesterday I could pick up the phone and call her anytime I wanted. It still hurts. I feel like a motherless child, because I am one.

 

Poor Ms. Shahi (Not!)

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After being instrumental in shoving Taraji P. Henson off Person of Interest, Sarah Shahi is now shedding copious WWT over losing her own Nancy Drew franchise, whining that there is a need for strong women role models. Interesting that Ms. Shahi feels that way now, when she was all gung-ho in having a strong female role fridged on Person of Interest. When you lie down with dogs, you tend to get up with fleas Ms. Shahi. You were more than happy to play “Catwoman” in Noland’s fantasy of turning Person of Interest into Batman by fridging Taraji P. Henson, now when they give you the finger too, you want to play the “strong woman” card. To hell with you. If you believed in strong woman roles you would’ve stood up for TPH, but of course, that’s too much to ask for a fellow “WOC.”

Oh the schadenfreude is strong with this one.

#toofemale #tooblackfemale

Dear Stock Photo Sites…

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I’ve been writing a lot here lately and sometimes when I need to decompress I look at stock photos and develop cover ideas. I want to do a fun, whimsical story and I know exactly how I want the cover to look. I mean, seriously, isn’t that gorgeous? Yeah, I think so too, except I can’t find any pictures like that with black women. Seriously, try googling black woman in long flowing gown and you’ll get exactly nada. It’s insanely frustrating because actually I need three of them, and I can’t even find one. Since I started self-publishing I like to get my cover ideas down before I start writing. I have no intention of starting on this book for quite some time, but meanwhile I can’t get this cover idea out my head. And yes, Whit can work his magic and do a meld job to get me the image I want, but dammit, it just seems to me that I shouldn’t still be doing that in 2016. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel really weird putting a black woman’s head on a white woman’s body, though I’ve done it more than once. What do y’all think? And stock folk, can you throw me just a few pictures?

 

Please Accept Our Sincere Apologies

If you pre-ordered Oh, What a Christmas and/or Christmas Wishes & Kisses from Amazon you did not get the entire file. There were changes made that for reasons we don’t understand did not go through. THIS IS FOR THE PRE-ORDERS ONLY.

We apologize for the inconvenience, but in order to get the corrected books, you’ll need to return and then re-buy them. Again, we are so sorry this happened.

Hold on to those pre-order receipts and we’ll make it up to you on the next book in the series, Putting the EX in Christmas. Again, this is for the pre-orders only from Amazon. All other copies of the book are fine. 

Oh, What a Christmas

Christmas Wishes & Kisses

Dear Amazon: Please stop lumping all AA Books in the same category

This is very important. Crucial even. It’s bad enough that bookstores do this, but Amazon with their fixation on algorithms from hell really has no excuse.

Joyce The Author

Last night I came across a really great post on Facebook from author Zuri Day

In the post, she talks about how, for some unknown and unfair reason, Amazon has decided to lump ALL African-American Fiction/Auhtors into the “Hood/Street” Fiction category. You can click on her name above to read exactly what she wrote. I feel she is speaking what many African-American authors who don’t read or write “Hood Fiction” have been saying and thinking for a very long time. Listen, we all are allowed to have a preference of what genre of books we enjoy writing or reading. I don’t knock any author who writes Street Lit (THOTS-such a stupid word, king/queenpins, etc) nor do I judge the many readers who obviously enjoy these types of books. However, I don’t write hood/street lit because it’s not me- I’m not about that life. I don’t associate myself with drug dealers…

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Someone Please Help Me Understand

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With the internet blowing up with stories about Cecil the Zimbabwean lion slaughtered by that monstrous dentist in Texas Minnesota (my bad, I stand corrected) I got my National Geographic yesterday and there was story about taxidermy. I’ve always found the practice creepy. Seriously, I don’t want anything dead in my house, but understand it serves a role. Anyway, this was one of the pictures in the story. Okay, I can comprehend that there are people who love the “thrill of the hunt.” Though how challenging could shooting a giraffe be? How the hell could you miss the thing? But why in the hell would you want to bring dead animals back to your house? I love animals, and I grew up in the country where men routinely hunted deer and birds for food. I have no beef with either of those. Those people were always very responsible, and the fees they pay in licensing and such help the state maintain the wildlife. With deer in particular, they’d be overpopulated and most likely starve if there was no responsible hunting, but why would anyone want to live in a house with the bodies of the animals they’ve killed. The dude in this picture is from Texas too, and he claims his hunts helps with conservation, and maybe it does, but damn if it doesn’t seem sick as all hell to me.

What Fresh Hell is This?

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I severely curtail my kid’s television watching. They can watch on the weekend’s only and even then I carefully monitor their shows. Cartoon Network has always been off-limits. I don’t like the smart-alecky kids, the sarcasm and I hate all the darned commercials. Okay, so somehow Luke got Uncle Grandpa by me this weekend when I wasn’t paying attention and then I saw this character; Mr. Gus. At first I thought I was tripping that dude looks like a caricature in black green face. Then I heard him speak. Dude sounds like he just graduated from Amos and Andy University. He makes Jar Jar Binks look like Marcus Garvey. So yes, I had to show my son this crap so he could understand why it’s unacceptable.

What I don’t understand is why? In 2015 why is it that a Cartoon Network would green light such a character and furthermore why would anyone think it was funny? Why are people’s imaginations so limited that the best they can come up with is some shit from Birth of a Nation and Gone With the Wind. White folk complain all the time that black people bring up race all the time. You know what, you have NO IDEA how tired I am of having this conversation. I’m particularly tired of having this conversation with my kid. Having to filter and analyze everything you watch and read with a critical eye is absolutely exhausting. Problem is, I can’t stop bringing it up, because you won’t. I’ll be damned if you’ll destroy my child with the monstrous crime against humanity that is white supremacy.

That Word Doesn’t Mean What You Think It Does

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And what word is that word? Sex Trafficking. Think about it. When you hear the word sex trafficking, do you think about some poor girl in a foreign country forced by her circumstances into porn/prostitution commercial rape? I’ll bet you do, because that’s the image we’ve been fed, essentially forever. Did you know that commercial rape is a 9.5 BILLION dollar a year industry in THIS COUNTRY? Did you know the average victim age is 13-14? Did you know that one in three teen runaways will be lured into commercial rape within 48 hours of leaving home? These aren’t poor kids “over there,” you know in those fucked up countries where something bad is always happening. Nope, this is right here in the United States.

Top Twenty Cities for Human Trafficking

Houston
• El Paso
• Los Angeles
• Atlanta
• Chicago
• Charlotte
• Miami
• Las Vegas
• New York
• Long Island
• New Orleans
• Washington, D.C.
• Philadelphia
• Phoenix
• Richmond
• San Diego• San Francisco
• St Louis
• Seattle
• Tampa

Were you surprised by any of those? Richmond? Seriously? Charlotte? Who’da thunk? Yeah, there are some surprises there, for those who aren’t paying attention. I live in Atlanta. I can leave my house right now and find a prostituted girl in less than thirty minutes. I bet you could too, if you’re paying attention.

Of course, it’s easy to dismiss prostitution, after all, most people don’t buy sex, or do they? What about the other arm of commercial rape? That which we call porn. I won’t go into all lamentations about the horrors of porn, after all, we know them, don’t we? We know that most of the women participating in commercial rape have been sexually abused and are addicted to one or more drugs and/or alcohol. But there’s that little word, consent. Oh yes. They consent. So let’s talk about consent, shall we? Can someone who has been beaten, raped and strung out on drugs, really consent to anything? What about the notion that commercial rape is just like any other job? We even use that despicable euphemism, sex work, as though commercial rape could ever be defined in such a way. Even a despised employer like Wal-Mart couldn’t get away with treating their workers the way women in commercial rape are treated. What if Wal-Mart took advantage of dope sick workers and forced them to work in violation of acceptable work standards? Yeah, Wal-Mart’s been boycotted to hell and back for considerably less.

And you might say, oh, it’s just sex. Have you looked at porn lately? I know I hadn’t, and it has been an eye-opening experience. Did you know that 40% of commercial rape videos feature ATM. What’s ATM? Trust it has nothing to do with a cash machine, it’s ass-to-mouth. In other words, anal sex followed by fellatio with no washing in between. Does that sound like “just sex” to you? Could Wal-Mart force their workers to literally eat shit? Do I have to tell you how lethal such a practice can be? Is there any employer in this country who could get away with such a thing?  I would say, no. Yet, this is routine in today’s video commercial rape. Why is that okay?

Things that used to be ‘fringe” are mainstream in a way you could not imagine. Almost all video commercial rape features violence, some of it extreme violence. Such as deliberately ejaculating in a woman’s eyes. I just want you think about how painful, not to mention dangerous such an activity can be. And think about the person who is sitting at home masturbating to such a visual. Do you want to be within a hundred yards of such a person? I know damned well I wouldn’t. After all, they wouldn’t make this if it wasn’t profitable. The producers of commercial rape videos are very clear on the fact that they make these videos for men who hate women. That the typical consumer is getting revenge for all the women he couldn’t have. And let us not forget, these women are raped, brutalized and drug-addled in the extreme.

Now back to that word sex trafficking. The typical sex trafficking victim in this country isn’t from some godforsaken foreign place. They’re typically from neighborhoods like yours and mine. We can’t dismiss this as something that’s somebody else’s problem. We have to make a decision, what do we care more about, our children or a porn sick freak’s ability to beat off to violence and debasement?  We can no longer dismiss this as something that happens to other people, or buy into claims that it’s “sex work” and the myth of consent. That dialogue only benefits the rapists and the procurers, nobody else. It certainly doesn’t help prostituted women and children.  You may choose to ignore the issue, but  you can no longer say you didn’t know.