Dear Khloe Kardashian…

Stop wearing your sister’s clothes. Actually, I assume they’re your own clothes, but either way it’s not a good look on you. Those body glove dresses look fine on them (Well, okay they look like whores on the stroll, but at least they don’t look like 10 pounds of sausage in a 5 pound bag.) See, here’s the thing, your sisters are pears, you are an apple. You have long slim legs, and a relatively thick middle. When you put on those type dresses you look like a marshmallow on toothpicks. Contrast that with this dress:

This is without a doubt the best I’ve ever seen you look. The flare in the skirt makes your waist look tiny and it makes your legs look amazing. Repeat after me: A-lines are my friend. That’s your new mantra, please repeat it anytime you find yourself anywhere near something by Leger. If I ever see you in this mess again I’ll beat you like you stole something. Leger isn’t for everybody. You look like a Clydesdale.

Please accept this in the spirit in which it is intended…ie I’m sick of your tacky looking ass all up in my magazines every week. And since you won’t go away, at the very least I can help you dress better.

Your friend, Roslyn Hardy Holcomb

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3 thoughts on “Dear Khloe Kardashian…

  1. Hmm…I see her as a pear as well. She’s thicker in the waist because she’s a carb-a-holic (I’m guessing). If she worked out and cut the yoyo dieting, I think she’d pop, because height is her victor. I do agree with the white outfit shows her best assets.

  2. Hmmm, you may be right, I’ve never seen a pear with a waist that thick. Either way, she needs to stop trying to dress like her sisters who are half a foot shorter with much narrower waists.

  3. Actually, in addition to her wearing more appropriate clothing, I’d REALLY love for her (and her uber annoying sisters) to just go away and give it a rest. I mean seriously, what are they famous for again?????

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