So, I’m still having a conversation on the message board with the woman who said she didn’t find men of other races attractive. She directed this towards me:
No disrespect intended, Roslyn, but if your written words are this sharp, I would hate to hear you speak! I’m all for truth and keeping it real, but I was also taught that it’s not just what you say, but HOW you say it. When your husband gets on your nerves or makes you angry, is this the way you talk to him? Or is this level of animosity reserved only for black men?
I don’t detect an iota of compassion or understanding from you for the struggles black men – even successful ones who “handle their business” – go through living in this country. I’m not saying black women should enable and/or coddle trifling men (even Steve Harvey calls them this in his book, so fellas don’t get on me), and for these men I have no good words. But, damn, sista!
Unlike you, I believe my destiny is tied to the black man’s, and I’m not about to let a few knuckleheads run me away. I will never be able to connect with men of other races to the same spiritual/metaphysical degree that I can with a black man (my definition of black man includes men who are part black and also identify with us) – and I don’t need to “try” a white/other man to find out. This is what I know, innately. I don’t have time for man-boys, but I believe that there is agrown black man out there somewhere for me, so that’s why I don’t give up on them. I know that at some point, while I’m out living my life to it’s fullest, he will find me.
Last, but certainly not least… yes, there are many black men the world over. But, their history is not my history. Their struggle is not my struggle. My apologies to the Pan-Africanists among us, but it’s true. However, my first choice willalways be a black or black/mixed man (from wherever) before any other group of non-black men.
Okay, cool. Now, in response to her query about my lack of compassion for black men’s issues, this was my response. (Note, I didn’t address her ‘nothing but a black man’ mantra, because really, I don’t care.)
I’m not angry. And my husband rarely gets on my nerves or makes me angry. Let me ask you a question, when have you seen a black man, even the so-called conscious ones who have an iota of compassion or understanding for the struggles of black women? Take your time, I’ll be here. Sorry, I don’t waste my compassion on people who don’t have a drop of compassion for me. I’m all about reciprocity.
Black women are catching hell on every corner of this globe, most of it at the hands, feet and guns of black men. Who in the black community is standing up to decry this senseless violence and bloodshed? When was the last time you heard any so-called black leader talk about the way black women are represented in this country? Did you hear D.L. Hughley’s comments after the Don Imus affair? Are you even familiar with Dunbar Village? Somehow I doubt it. Google it. Black woman raped and forced perform a sex act on her minor son by a gang of teenagers. Son blinded with bleach. Violent crime that could occur anywhere, in any race, but here’s the kicker. Rather than march in support of the VICTIM and the apprehension of the felons who assaulted her, the West Palm Beach County branch of the NAACP protested the incarceration of the DEFENDANTS. Do you think LaRaza would be protesting on behalf of vicious thugs who raped a Latina? How about JADL on behalf of Jewish rapist and victimizers? Asian? I don’t think so. Only in the black so-called community to you find black men defending other black men who prey on black women and children.
You might want to check out a blog called What About Our Daughters. Then come back and tell me all about the woes of tired black men.
Black women are being slaughtered at horrifying rates all over this country. Again, I ask, how many black men have you seen stand in solidarity with black women? They have heroes like Eldridge Cleaver who said that he practiced raping black women before moving on to his ‘real’ target, white women. They had a welcome home parade for the convicted rapist Mike Tyson. They build monuments to another convicted rapist, Tupac Shakur and promote and celebrate music that is all about the debasement and violence against black women.
Sorry, I’m too busy saving black women and children from the perfidy of the so-called black community to waste my time on tired black men.
Now, her response to me is that I’m bitter and angry and too full of negative energy to continue talking to. There’s also a black man on the same thread, one of those ‘black women are all bitter and angry types’ who maintain that I’m bitter and angry as well and must have been sexually abused.
Note, neither of them have counteracted my statement, ie that black men are not entitled to support or compassion from black women given that they have provided us with none. They haven’t challenged that. They’re too busy acting the same way white people do when black folk call them on racism.