Lisa’s going to kill me, but this is the prologue I wrote last night. Unedited, of course. What do y’all think?
The great beast strained, its every muscle tautened as it struggled to gain its freedom. With every fiber and sinew he fought against those who sought to steal his soul. His golden eyes glowed eerily in the firelight; the rage blazing in their depths seemed to indicate some knowledge of the unholy task that its vitality would fuel. Its lifeblood bubbled, shining wetly dark against its coal-black mane as a woman so beautiful it hurt to gaze upon her countenance held a jeweled goblet up to capture his very essence.
The savanna was quiet and still as every living creature fled in terror of the unnatural act that was taking place. Every hoof that struck the earth, every bird that took to wing shuddered in fear as the sorceress captured the mightiest creature on land. As the beast fought to draw its last breath the circle of evil beings grew larger and larger. They who had battled for millennia almost to the last of their kind now had found a way, the only way to preserve their species. The Eshu were too numerous to defeat with even the strongest magic. Their kind seemed to thrive and multiply with each adversity placed before them. No, they could not be obliterated, but they could be crippled. Their changeling nature stripped away so that they could be scattered to the four winds like the troublesome vermin they were. The witch smellers had to go so that the Thatakhi could survive and fulfill their destiny.
The shackles rattled like old bones on the dusty plain a precursor of the horrors to come. They called to the millions who would die of disease and the lash, innocents in this never-ending battle. The goblet passed from evil being to evil being with increasing speed until with a gasp the lion breathed his last. Suddenly a cacophony of shrieks and screams rose from the four corners of the earth. The sky boiled and lightning flashes brightened the sky as though it were noon instead of the witching hour, the time when the power of the diabolical ones is at its zenith. With a mighty roar the heavens opened with a deluge, soaking all that stood under it.
Raising the goblet to the tumultuous sky the sorceress shrieked above the howling wind, “It is done. The Eshu are no more.”
The rest of the circle repeated her words in unison, and suddenly all was quiet once again. And so it began.
2 thoughts on “Prologue *Unedited*”
Dude, I’m loathe to critique because you’re a published writer and I’m not.
I like the lion struggle (was it a lion?)
I don’t read your blog so much so I feel like its not my place to critique.
It would defeat the whole purpose but I almost expected to hear shrilled laughter by that sorceress.