I’ve been told that everyone does posts on how to get man, but few people talk about how to keep one. Being the people pleaser that I am, I thought I would rectify that.
1. Make Your Home a Sanctuary: When we first got married my husband insisted that we not have a television in the bedroom. I was traumatized. Over decade and a half that I’d lived alone, I had always gone to sleep to Headline News or QVC. He pointed out that we shouldn’t bring the negativity of the world into our home. He was right.
Further, this philosophy should encompass your whole home. Make it a place that both of you can’t wait to get home to at the end of the day. Paint it soothing, comforting colors. Have quilts and throws to snuggle under on a brisk day. Have tables to put your feet up on.
2. Cook: I know for many women this is anathema, and I’m not sure why. At the bare minimum you should be able to present a few favorites from time to time. There’s plenty of information at FoodTV that will turn you into an expert in no time.
For me, cooking is an art, a means of self-expression. I get tremendous joy out of creating meals that nurture my family. I understand that not everyone looks at it the same way. But with some preparation and planning ahead it can be less of a chore.
3. The Way You Make Him Feel: This is one my mama taught me a long time ago. Men want to make their women happy. When you’re a happy woman, you make him a happy man (Not to be confused with the sex act of the same name. Though it wouldn’t hurt! -lol-)
If you have an honorable man (And praise be to Goddess, I hope that anyone who reads this blog does indeed have an honorable man), understand that they do what they say they’re going to do. On the flipside, they don’t do what they say they’re not going to do. Save your breath. You’re going to need that on your deathbed. Nagging is ineffective and will only make both of you miserable.
An honorable man will go out of his way to please you and make you happy. Make sure you let him know you appreciate his efforts and you appreciate him.
4. Getting Horizontal: On her blog, my good friend Monica posted about a woman who hadn’t gotten naked with her husband in six months. I’m telling you now, if you go six months without giving up the booty, you can best believe old boy is going to be getting it elsewhere.
Yes, I know, life, kids, and all manner of things intervene, but remember you’re going to be with this man the rest of your life. It’s incumbent upon you to maintain that primary relationship. It’s the one all the rest of your relationships revolve around.
Sex is the way married couples reconnect. The physical act is about more than just getting off (though that’s crucial too), but it serves to remind you of what your marriage is about: the two of you. Nothing is more important.
5. Take Care of You: This should probably be number one, but I’m too lazy to rearrange it. All too often we give to others until there’s nothing left for ourselves. Then we’re angry and resentful. Oftentimes we direct that anger towards our partner, when in actuality, it’s no one’s fault but our own. Take the time, even if it’s no more than thirty minutes a day to do something specifically for you. Few husbands are unwilling to take the kids for a bit so that you have an opportunity to recharge. If he makes noise about it, be sure to remind him that your G-spot is directly connected to your ‘me time.’ Believe me, he’ll take those kids so fast they’ll have windburn.
Also, be sure to let him have some ‘breathing room’ away from you from time to time. No, I’m not talking about a bar crawl, or staying out all night with ‘his boys.’ A couple times a year my husband has to go camping or fishing. Yeah, he has to pacify his inner Jeremiah Johnson. Personally, after the Army I have no desire to sleep on the ground again, but he loves it. I don’t nag or whine or give him grief about it. The man works hard, and deserves some time off.
That’s all I have for now. Please don’t hesitate to add your own. If I have more I will add them.
One thought on “Recession Proof Your Marriage”
Amen! You said it all!