Wish I could say that all I want for Christmas is you, but hey, a girl has needs too.

1. Glass Bowl for Kitchenaid Mixer I’ve been rhapsodizing over this bowl forever, and I seriously needed it last night when I was making my Italian Cream Cake. Cakes with folded in egg whites are always a bear when you only have one bowl. Most of the time I remember to beat my egg whites first, because if you forget you have to dump out your batter and then beat your egg whites. That bowl has to be uber clean, because egg whites won’t bank in a greasy bowl.

2. A Bed Jacket I write and read in bed, but my shoulders and neck always get cold. A robe is too much, but a bed jacket is just the right length so I don’t get over heated. I really like the plush ones. Plus I’m having a scheduled c-section and a short robe like this is good for the hospital.

3. Pretty Much Anything from Philosophy, particularly Purity cleanser,Hope in a Jar moisturizer, or the Microdelivery Peel.

4. Big, Oversized Sweater I would love, love, love, a big sweater like this one. (Did I mention I would freaking LOVE IT!!!)  All the maternity sweaters I’ve seen (that don’t cost $300) are tight, and I absolutely loathe tight maternity clothes. Plus, this is something I could wear when I’m no longer pregnant. I think a sweater like this would look fierce over leggings with my low-heeled boots. Obviously I can’t have this sweater. It’s a Michael Kors original and presumably costs thousands of dollars. I particularly love the color. It would be great with my skin tone.  (Michael Kors is going to be the death of me.)

The only real world one I’ve found that’s somewhat similar is this one fromVictoria’s Secret. I particularly like the cowl neck as I think it’s a flattering look on me.

And so, there you have it, half-dozen or so things that would make me happy, happy, happy on Christmas morning.

And now for the Hail Mary:

5. An iPad Yes, I know I said I gave this up for the new baby, but if someone out there really, really loves me this would make me absolutely delirious on Christmas morning.

Can’t believe I forgot this. In addition to eating my way across Italy, I also want to see a humpback whale. In it’s own habitat, not caged up somewhere. In case you haven’t noticed I’m opposed to caging wild animals, though I do acknowledge that given our inability to share this planet with other living beings it is necessary to cage some to preserve the species. I adore whales, actually I love animals period, but I think whales are absolutely stellar. What’s not to love? Imagine weighing 40 tons and being able to breech out of the water this way. Scientists don’t know why the do it, but I’m pretty sure I do: Because they can.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately (anything to keep from writing), and it dawned on me, I really only have one item on my bucket list. Of course, there are the usual things like seeing my son graduate college, get married all that jazz. Write a best-seller, but to me those aren’t really bucket list type things because for the most part they’re not in my hands. No, the only true bucket list thing I can come up with is one that I’ve had for more than twenty years now: Eat My Way Across Italy. No, not in the way that self-absorbed chick did in that execrable book that won’t be named. No, I’m not going to Italy to seek spirituality and hefty book advances. I want to EAT.

First, I’ll go to Sicily. Yes, I want to spend an entire month there eating nothing but calimari. After they throw me out for consuming all their squid, it’s on to Rome. Yes Roma, where pizza was born. Real pizza–oven baked and oozing with mozzarella, tomato and basil. And that’s ALL, none of the garbage dumps we call pizza here. After I eat pizza until I explode. I want to spend an eternity in Tuscany where I eat nothing but cheese and drink oceans of really good wine. Then I’ll start all over again. That’s all folks. My complete bucket list: Italy.

Imma need celebrities to stop adopting their relatives, or at least to stop talking about it. Nobody’s ever going to convince me that Nicole and Brenda Richie aren’t related. It’s even more apparent now that Nicole is wearing her hair dark, but even in these pictures you can see the same eyes, nose and mouth. They even have the same teeth. Brenda, step up and stop Tom Cruising us about your child.

Paperback Swap is the coolest of the cool. I’ve only been there for a month and I’ve already rebuilt my keeper shelf and gotten tons of children’s books for the Luke. It’s a fairly simple system. When you sign up you enter all the books you want to get rid of. You can enter them by their ISBN, so it’s really easy. When someone requests that book you mail it to them and receive a credit, which you can use to request another book.  One book costs one credit. They also give you two free credits for signing up. They say that at some point they’ll probably start charging an annual fee for the service, but as of right now it’s totally free. 

You can print out a wrapper from the site that already has the amount of postage due on it. That way you just stick the stamps on and put it in your mailbox. Couldn’t be easier. 

http://www.paperbackswap.com/index.php

Someone mentioned this curious little character on the Loose Id author loop. It’s a combination between an exclamation and question mark. I could never use it because to me the name sounds like a euphemism for a kinky sex act. Whit says it sounds like an interrogation that turns into a gang-bang. (Yeah, we’re strange that way.) It’s been around since the 60s and is on the Mac special characters. I must admit, I’m tempted to use it just to drive my line editors crazy. (As if I don’t have them pulling their hair out already.) So, what do you think of it? Think you might want to use it? (As punctuation, not for kinky sex, though that would be interesting too.)

Eve Vaughn’s Candy Girl from Loose Id.

Just putting this here as a reminder to buy this weekend.

I just realized I hadn’t given y’all any man candy in a minute. I’ve had my eye on this one for a while. All that hair is almost impossible to miss. Definitely my inspiration for that book with a Samoan hero I’ve got percolating in my head. Troy Polamalu is all kinds of outrageously fine and a loyal family man to boot. Y’all know I love it when a big sessy man all about the fam. He might just pop up in Nate’s book, but he’s definitely on his way.

Amazon.com – Your Account.

And why am I tracking this book order like a kid watching fake Santa footage on the Weather Channel on Christmas Eve? Because it IS like Christmas for me. That order contains Hunting Ground, the new Patricia Briggs book and I’m so excited I could pop. It’s in Lexington, that’s only a few hundred miles from me. Remember postal workers, I’ve said really good things about you guys. If that book gets here tomorrow I swear I’ll bake cookies for you!

When Danielle, bka The Black Snob, was adding to her notorious Wall of Sexy, I suggested my current lust object, Neil DeGrasse Tyson. Neil is my favorite astrophysicist. Okay, he’s the only astrophysicist I know by sight. Smart, funny and self-deprecating, you can’t help but love him. Note to self, write a story about a sexy astrophysicist. 

Love Me Some Them

Since I can’t seem to get along with any members of my actual biological family, I’ve decided to adopt Gina and Pat. Hey, I’m a writer, I’m supposed to be eccentric. (Somehow that sounds better than bat-shit crazy.) I’ve eaten in their restaurant in Memphis, and that isht is off the hook.